tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-11-21:/Readers in the UK already know meeja, defined in The Oxford Dictionary of New Words as "A respelling of media, meant to represent a common colloquial pronunciation of the word." It is considered humorous or dismissive slang..." - from the Wood on Words columnMokoFeed2009-11-21T02:21:54+01:00tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-11-09:/2009/11/09/happy-50th-birthday-youssou-n-dour-7338755/loiswakeman2009-11-09T18:18:42+01:002009-11-09T18:18:42+01:00 <p>A treat for world music fans that I caught in the wee small hours on the BBC World Service: an interview with the immensely charming and (I think) talented Youssou N'Dour. Sometimes, you hear someone speaking and just know he must be a really nice guy - as is the case here.</p> <p>Listen again for a few days. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/11/09/happy-50th-birthday-youssou-n-dour-7338755/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-10-30:/2009/10/30/ironic-or-what-7277654/loiswakeman2009-10-30T21:54:31+01:002009-11-09T18:28:25+01:00 <p>In the latest O'Reilly catalogue, I was rather amused to find an entry for <em>The Twitter Book</em> by Tim O'Reilly and Sarah Milstein, which weighs in at 240 pages. A system set up to use 140 character messages that needs a 240-page book to explain it seems rather funny to me. But perhaps I am an old cynic?</p> <p><a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Twitter-Book-Tim-OReilly/dp/0596802811">Buy your own copy here</a> if you feel the need. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/10/30/ironic-or-what-7277654/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-10-13:/2009/10/13/sauce-for-the-goose-7160685/loiswakeman2009-10-13T14:53:53+02:002009-10-13T14:53:53+02:00 <p><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/255/2999255_c8e80a859f_s.jpeg" alt="sheep">The radio news is full of MPs bleating about how unfair it is that the rules on reasonable expenses have been changed after the fact. It's called <em>retrospective legislation</em> chaps - just like the rules that have been introduced by this government that put us ordinary mortals at a disadvantage. Tax laws are replete with retrospective changes to close loopholes introduced by the poor drafting of legislation in the first place - for example, the infamous (if you are a contractor) Section 58.</p> <p>Funnily enough, <a href="http://www.itcontractor.com/Articles_IR35_News_Advice/view_article.asp?id_no=5030&photopage=0">this page</a> makes almost the same the point I was going to: </p> <p>"One former contractor ... commented 'How would some Cabinet Ministers feel if the rules on MPs expenses were changed retrospectively and they were forced to pay back all the money they had claimed for so called second homes? Apparently, it is OK for them to use loopholes in the rules but it is not OK for the rest of us.' " </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/10/13/sauce-for-the-goose-7160685/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-10-07:/2009/10/07/what-price-original-photos-7116770/loiswakeman2009-10-07T12:15:19+02:002009-10-07T12:15:19+02:00 <p>I assume this item isn't a wind -up - it seems to suggest that none of us needs to pick up a camera again, since this clever product can trawl the web for sunsets, kittens in baskets, naked ladies and all the other elements of an appealing picture, and combine them before your very eyes! If this is for real and it takes off, it will unleash a whole lot more breast-beating in the photographic community about veracity and integrity - not to mention the wails of those whose copyrighted images have been sliced and diced! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/10/07/what-price-original-photos-7116770/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-09-04:/2009/09/04/sun-headline-writer-in-local-council-shocker-6889171/loiswakeman2009-09-04T11:08:34+02:002009-09-04T11:10:41+02:00 <p>My regular readers (or at least, those who used to be when I posted regularly) will know that I have taken on the job of Parish Clerk for my village. I had visions of a quiet life of paperwork and phone calls, but in fact as it turns out, managing people is a much more important (and sometimes fraught) part of the job.</p> <p>However, the mild excitement of rowdy public meetings or disgruntled parishioners' phone calls pales into insignificance when I read one of my trade publications, <em>Clerks and Councils Direct</em>.</p> <p>The September issue has, on <a href="http://www.clerksandcouncilsdirect.co.uk/">its front page</a>, these exciting headlines:</p> <p>Youths attack in park<br> 'Mess' walk-out<br> Woman, 92, in bin ordeal<br> Year ban for gay remarks<br> Five cleared</p> <p>and some other plums from the inside pages include:</p> <p>Beach challenge coast shocker<br> 'Racist' gags are no joke<br> MP digs allotment boost<br> Death crash comments 'shameful'<br> Clerk's 40-minute ordeal<br> Ex-member refuses to go quietly</p> <p>and so on. I shan't spoil your fun by telling you what any of them actually refer to, since the actual story is inevitably more prosaic. Just like the issue of the <em>Bridport News </em>that announced, in about 200pt type, "<strong>Glue Sniffer runs amok</strong>" - which turned out to be about a youth who bumped into an old lady and made her drop her handbag!</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/09/04/sun-headline-writer-in-local-council-shocker-6889171/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-08-25:/2009/08/25/hurry-your-last-chance-to-hear-6817199/loiswakeman2009-08-25T10:54:49+02:002009-08-25T10:54:49+02:00 <p>... the Ukelele Orchestra of Great Britain at the Proms.</p> <p>I only just came across this little gem last night - and am listening again, again.</p> <p>Forget George Formby, and revel in a very eclectic mix of classical, punk, grunge and classic 1970s rock - all performed with vocals and ukeleles. Not only individual songs, but some rather enchanting medleys (well, more part songs - you have to listen to appreciate this!).</p> <p>Teenage Dirtbag; Life on Mars; Pinball Wizard; Wuthering Heights; the Ride of the Valkyries; the Dambusters' March; the tune from "Listen with Mother"; and many others.</p> <p>But hurry - the broadcast ends at about 11 tonight.</p> <p><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00m68x7">http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00m68x7</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/08/25/hurry-your-last-chance-to-hear-6817199/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-01-18:/2009/01/18/pesto-and-stinky-5399879/loiswakeman2009-01-18T18:23:25+01:002009-01-18T18:23:25+01:00 <p>- no, not a new comedy double-act, but an annoyingly childish phrase coined by the string-driven thing himself, the BBC's business editor, Robert Peston (aka, in our household at least, as Pesto).</p> <p>The current economic situation has already spawned a host of annoying jargon - 'credit crunch' for instance. Then we had the stupidly named 'toxic assets' for poorly-rated bundles of USA subprime mortgages. But Mr P has to go one better - I have heard him twice now interviewed about these, and calling them 'stinky assets'.</p> <p>It's all very well inventing terms for financial instruments that are so complex that even hedge fund managers don't really understand them (Collateralised Debt Obligations or CDOs). But to resort to puerile terms more suited to name calling in the playground is surely a step too far, even for the dumbed-down Beeb? What is wrong with 'dodgy assets' - a term that is already in common use and conveys perfectly the lack of trust in these items? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/01/18/pesto-and-stinky-5399879/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-01-13:/2009/01/13/poetry-please-5369919/loiswakeman2009-01-13T11:05:15+01:002009-01-13T11:05:15+01:00 <p>If you have the time in the next few days, I do urge you to <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_7825000/7825922.stm">listen again</a> to the interview with Jen Hadfield, winner of this year's TS Eliot Prize, on the <em>Today Programme</em> this morning.</p> <p>She has a beautiful lilting voice (she lives in Shetland), and the poem she reads about a rock pool I found truly inspirational. A little oasis of serenity in a sea of news about war, violence and economic gloom. Every word and phrase polished like a small jewel.</p> <p class="center"> <img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/186/3140186_0be7dec5aa_m.jpeg" alt="Achnahaird" vspace="5" hspace="5"></p> <p>The photo is mine, and given the origin of the poet, I chose a Scottish one taken in Achnahaird - one of the best beaches in the entire universe.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/01/13/poetry-please-5369919/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2009-01-05:/2009/01/05/a-message-from-the-fsa-5327012/loiswakeman2009-01-05T16:54:31+01:002009-01-05T16:54:31+01:00 <p>This plopped (and I use the word advisedly) into my junk mailbox today:</p> <p>From: Financial Services Authority [Europeanservices@fsa.gov.uk]<br> To: [photos@lois.co.uk]<br> Subject: United Kingdom Banking Upgrade !</p> <blockquote><p>Dear United Kingdom Banking Customers Upgrade </p> <p>Due to concerns, for the safety and integrity of your bank account we have issued this warning message.</p> <p>It has come to our attention that your Bank account information needs to be updated as part of our continuing commitment to protect your account in this year 2008 and to reduce the instance of fraud on banking websites. If you could please take 5-10 minutes out of your online experience and update your personal records you will not run into any future problems with the online service. </p> <p>Once you have updated your account records your bank account service will not be interrupted and will continue as normal. </p> <p>To update your Bank records<br> Please Click Here [http://210.73.226.8/securityupdate/] </p> <p>Four you safety we will save ur ip adress</p> <p>Thank You.</p> <p>Accounts Management As outlined in our User Agreement, Your Bank will<br> periodically send you information about site changes and enhancements. </p></blockquote> <p>What a prize example of incompetent spam: generic and inaccurate addressee, misplaced punctuation, last year's date, no attempt to hide the fraudulent URL, Random Initial Capitals, and an obvious selection of cut and paste from different sources: note the sudden lapse into misspelt txtspk at the end?</p> <p>Not to mention the fact that the FSA is not known for randomly emailing people about their bank accounts.</p> <p>I find it depressing that enough people respond to such messages to make it worthwhile sending them. Are people really that credulous and ill-informed?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2009/01/05/a-message-from-the-fsa-5327012/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-11-18:/2008/11/18/local-hero-happy-25th-birthday-5059112/loiswakeman2008-11-18T19:36:19+01:002008-11-18T19:36:19+01:00 <p>Good grief - I'm losing my grip - another complimentary post about the Beeb!</p> <p>Tonight, Mark Kermode and Bill Forsyth are visiting the location of possibly the best film in the world - <em>Local Hero</em>.</p> <p>Our VHS tape wore out we watched it so often, and now we have a DVD from Canada, thanks to the wonders of ebay.</p> <p>So I shall be glued to the set come 22:00 tonight.</p> <p><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/cultureshow/">Culture show trailer</a></p> <p>PS I'm glad it's not that annoyingly matey Geordie lass presenting though... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/11/18/local-hero-happy-25th-birthday-5059112/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-11-14:/2008/11/14/let-there-be-light-5034693/loiswakeman2008-11-14T12:47:37+01:002008-11-14T12:47:37+01:00 <p>I know I am usually banging on about how rubbish terrestrial TV is, but I rather enjoyed the last episode of Alan Yentob's <em>Imagine</em> called "Let there be light". As a photographer, I was very interested in other ways artists use light to express themseves. Featured artists include:</p> <ul> <li>Liliane Lijn - Aerogel sculptures </li> <li>United Visual Artists - interactive light and sound installations for public spaces</li> <li>Charles Ross - spectra from large prisms and lenses</li> <li>Anthony McCall - light sculptures in a dark room </li> <li>James Turrell - amazing lit spaces looking onto the sky and playing on optical illusions</li> <li>and of course that old favourite - the fluorescent tube king, Dan Flavin.</li> </ul> <p>I can recommend it - Yentob is an infectiously enthusiastic chap, and some of the art is mesmerising - especially Turrell's I thought. On the BBC iplayer now:</p> <p><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00fm1vb/Imagine_Let_There_Be_Light/"><a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00fm1vb/Imagine_Let_There_Be_Light/">http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00fm1vb/Imagine_Let_There_Be_Light/</a></a></p> <p>A jewel adrift in a sea of dross.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/11/14/let-there-be-light-5034693/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-10-28:/2008/10/28/gibbons-where-are-you-when-we-need-you-4944016/loiswakeman2008-10-28T10:25:23+01:002008-10-29T09:46:48+01:00 <p>I don't know about you, but with all the media stories of financial doom, and now the grotesque hoo-hah over Russell Brand's and Jonathan Ross' imbecilic pranks, it almost feels like the last decadent gasps of a crumbling empire. I just hope the barbarian hordes take their time getting to the gates to sack us all.</p> <p>Before anyone accuses me of being a humourless git - it's all very well saying that people are often rude and insulting in real life and it's only a <del>TV</del>radio show. For starters, I don't think it <strong>is </strong>OK to behave like that, even if many people do. And then, boorish behaviour specifically calculated to increase viewer ratings at the expense of an innocent third party is distasteful in the extreme. To carry my analogy further - perhaps the BBC should develop a reality show based on gladiatorial combat, so we can laugh helplessly while unfortunates are hacked to death for our pleasure? OK - that is carrying it to ridiculous extremes, but every slippery slope of tolerance for bad behaviour has a deceptively gentle start.</p> <p>I have recently written to the TV licensing authority asking to cancel the licence once the digital switchover happens - but honestly, I should be asking for them to do it now and give us 6 months' fee back. I have always rather resented the huge salary that Ross gets from tax payers' money - I find him sleazy, creepy and oleaginous. I've never had the dubious privilege of seeing Brand on the box or hearing him on the radio - for which I assume I should be grateful, since he sounds like another oik I'd rather not know.</p> <p>I am often lamenting the depths to which the BBC stoops in the name of mass entertainment, but this is really scraping the manky barrel of public poor taste. IMO, both perpetrators of this crass and infantile jape should be sacked without compensation, as should the editor who allowed it to go on air. Am I holding my breath? - no.</p> <p>Read <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7692911.stm">BBC reportage</a> here. And <em><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_History_of_the_Decline_and_Fall_of_the_Roman_Empire">The History of the Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire</a></em> by Gibbons. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/10/28/gibbons-where-are-you-when-we-need-you-4944016/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-10-23:/2008/10/23/78-not-out-4917055/loiswakeman2008-10-23T10:10:08+02:002008-10-23T10:10:08+02:00 <p>Listening to Today on the radio this morning, I was brought up short. Nicola Stanbridge was interviewing Andy Walter about EMI's "bizarre" world music archives, some dating from the start of the last century.</p> <p>"Deep the bowels of EMI's music archive in Middlesex are 150 thousand old 78s - gramophone records played at 78 revolutions per minute..."</p> <p>Although I don't have any 78s myself, I am very familiar with them - and the idea that they have to be explained made me feel very old all of a sudden!</p> <p><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/today/hi/today/newsid_7685000/7685705.stm">Listen to the clip</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/10/23/78-not-out-4917055/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-09-22:/2008/09/22/public-service-broadcasting-4761276/loiswakeman2008-09-22T10:30:32+02:002008-09-22T10:31:50+02:00 <p>From Ceefax, Saturday:</p> <blockquote><p><strong>Hole in the Wall</strong> Dale Winton hosts, as celebrities try to squeeze themselves through different shaped holes.</p></blockquote> <p>First, I checked that it was not the 1st of April, then I shook my head in disbelief. I'm paying the government out of a limited income to fund stuff like this. I fail to see how the BBC can justify such trivia as being of public benefit (or is it a sinister plot to turn our brains to cheese so we stop challenging them when they make stupid decisions? <img src="/img/smilies/icon_wink.gif" alt=";)" class="middle" border="0">). I have no objection to such programmes in principle - as long as the people who want to watch them pay a digital, cable or satellite provider for the privilege of doing so. But to pay for it out of taxation is a sad reflection on the cultural expectations of the Beeb for society.</p> <p>You can, apparently, <a href="http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00dq8tl/">watch it again</a>.</p> <p>(I wonder if some of the holes are in the shape of donkeys? That would be very satisfying to a punster like me.)</p> <p class="center"><img src="http://lois.co.uk/about/personal/pasture/images/doris.jpg" alt="Three non-celebrity donkeys" title="Three non-celebrity donkeys"><br> <em>Doris, Millie and Lucy</em></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/09/22/public-service-broadcasting-4761276/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-09-19:/2008/09/19/do-i-care-4750134/loiswakeman2008-09-19T14:43:53+02:002008-09-19T14:43:53+02:00 <p>I get a weekly newsletter from the local cinema, telling me what films are on. At the bottom, there is this section:</p> <p><strong>Latest gossip!</strong> <ul> <li>Miley Cyrus Dating Newly Single Cody Linley?</li> <li>Mariah Carey Tell-All Book</li> <li>Minnie Driver Welcomes a Son</li> <li>Michelle Williams Takes a Year Off from Hollywood</li> <li>Eva Mendes Hires Life Coach to Deal with Fame</li> </ul> It might as well be written in double Dutch. I don't know who most of these international non-entities are*, and even if I did, I don't care a hoot about their tedious goings-on. It's the same every week.</p> <p>Perhaps I need to go on a <em>Hello Magazine Appreciation Course</em> so I can take a proper interest in these vital topics And Learn to Write Utterly Fascinating Unnews Headlines Like This?</p> <p>* I've heard of Mariah and Minnie, but their private lives? Ptui. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/09/19/do-i-care-4750134/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-08-08:/2008/08/08/doggone-doggerel-4561574/loiswakeman2008-08-08T22:01:09+02:002008-08-08T22:05:07+02:00 <p>I was idly searching for pictures of Beer after my <a href="http://devonlife.blog.co.uk/2008/08/08/a-shot-of-4560302">trip earlier today</a>, and came across a magnificently useless but diverting <a href="http://www.landscapeportraits.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=29">web site</a>. Not only were all the paintings I clicked on unreviewed and unavailable, but the Testimonials page contained this unintentionally funny gem:</p> <p>"John reminds me of a swan<br> Across the sky he flies so high<br> Like one of the greatest birds in the sky.</p> <p>He's fancy free and ready for tea<br> He looks around on the ground<br> For sea worms swimming around.<br> He sees other birds flying high in the sky<br> Singing their song as they fly along... " </p> <p>It goes on - but I won't <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p>Well, it beats watching the *&%$£@* Olympics... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/08/08/doggone-doggerel-4561574/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-07-16:/2008/07/16/simon-s-cat-is-4455238/loiswakeman2008-07-16T11:44:31+02:002008-07-16T11:45:08+02:00 <p>... a very funny cat.</p> <p>Dog lovers should look away immediately - but ailurophiles, flock to YouTube now!</p> <p><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s13dLaTIHSg">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s13dLaTIHSg</a></p> <p>I accidentally caught the end of the <em>Culture Show</em> on the Beeb last night, to see the last moment of this animation. I'm glad I tracked it down, as it made me snort with laughter. Anyone who has a cat will recognise this, all too painfully.</p> <p class="center"><img src="http://data5.blog.de/media/504/2663504_3cfc11db07_m.jpeg" alt="tigger" vspace="5" hspace="5"><br> <em>Oven-ready cat</em></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/07/16/simon-s-cat-is-4455238/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-07-10:/2008/07/10/twitter-or-squitter-4429123/loiswakeman2008-07-10T12:10:55+02:002008-07-10T12:10:55+02:00 <p>"Twitter forces textual concision" says <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/news/media/andrew-keen-on-new-media-847668.html">Andrew Keen</a> on the Indy's web site. That may be true of some people, but all the tweets I've been unfortunate enough to come across have been of the "I just squeezed a spot on the mirror" variety. I would propose an alternative summary "Twitter allows non-events to be publicised worldwide". Or perhaps I should devote more time to these concise and pertinent utterings to find the gold amongst the dross?</p> <p>I would have made this point on the article itself - but no comments are solicited. So, 'Humbug' to you, Independent. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/07/10/twitter-or-squitter-4429123/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-06-23:/2008/06/23/a-little-piece-of-heaven-4351164/loiswakeman2008-06-23T11:27:26+02:002008-06-23T11:27:26+02:00 <p>Meeja has been languishing rather neglected lately - so much stuff has got me riled up that I don't know where to start. So, instead, here is a calming item.<br> <blockquote>When you're weary, feeling small<br>When tears are in your eyes<br>I will dry them all </blockquote> - from <em>Bridge over Troubled Water</em>, as most ageing hippies will know! Just reading those words brings Art Garfunkel's sublimely pure voice to mind. But I have another suggestion too.</p> <p>Tune your DAB radio into Birdsong: a loop of recorded birdsong from a garden in Wiltshire. Instant calm, bliss and reduction in blood pressure - just the thing if you've had a workload like mine over the past few days.</p> <p>You can also <a href="http://www.birdsongradio.com/">listen online</a> - though after the recent plug for this on the Beeb, the servers may be overloaded! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/06/23/a-little-piece-of-heaven-4351164/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-05-14:/2008/05/14/pirate-or-pr-agent-4174576/loiswakeman2008-05-14T20:18:17+02:002008-05-14T20:18:17+02:00 <p>On Saturday, I was reading an article in the <em>Grauniad </em>about how some savvy manufacturers (including Nike) take advantage of fan and derivative products to promote their own brands.</p> <p>By contrast, the <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7400268.stm">Beeb is harrying someone</a> who has published knitting patterns for Dr Who monsters on her web site.</p> <p>They have all the stultifying lack of imagination of a monolithic corporation without any of the accountability to "customers". A pretend commercial enterprise funded largely by the taxpayers of the UK. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/05/14/pirate-or-pr-agent-4174576/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-04-26:/2008/04/26/rip-humph-4099150/loiswakeman2008-04-26T22:14:21+02:002008-04-26T22:14:21+02:00 <p>Humphrey Lyttleton - jazz maestro, comedian par excellence and broadcaster - died yesterday; and like many others I suspect, I feel I have lost a good friend - or perhaps a slightly risqué but much-loved uncle.</p> <p>So join with me in listening to the memorial broadcast of <em>I'm Sorry I Haven't a Clue</em> tomorrow (Sunday) at 12 noon on Radio 4.</p> <p>We'll miss you, Humph. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/04/26/rip-humph-4099150/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-04-25:/2008/04/25/how-not-to-market-your-services-4094295/loiswakeman2008-04-25T17:48:40+02:002008-04-25T17:48:40+02:00 <p>From some recent spam (my comments in italics):</p> <p> "Please only reply to the email links in the text below.<br><em>Why can't you put the proper reply-to address in your email - or is that too difficult to set up?</p> <p></em>"Are you looking to improve your website performance? Yes, then please take a moment to read this email.<br><em>If I was, you'd be the last person I'd ask.</em></p> <p>"We can offer you a free website performance review, all that we ask in return is that you consider using our very competitively priced services to make the relevant improvements.<br><em>I can offer you free advice on how not to p*ss people off by offering them services they can do themselves, as would be perfectly obvious if you looked at the web site rather than buying a mailing list</em><br> <br>"If you are interested please email us at <a href="mailto:ukbestwebsite-designing@lycos.com">ukbestwebsite-designing@lycos.com</a> to request our free review form.<br><em>Hmm: web designers that can't afford their own mail domain and use a free service.</em><em></em><br> <br>"Our work is always our best advert, so please email us at <a href="mailto:ukbestwebsite-designing@lycos.com">ukbestwebsite-designing@lycos.com</a> if you want to see our design portfolio.<br><em>And they don't have their own web site to advertise a portfolio either?</em><br> <br>"Thank you for taking the time to read this email. We look forward to working with you.<br><em>Dream on, Buster</em><em>.</em><br> <br>"If don't want to receive email from us, we apologise for any inconvenience caused and ask that you simply email <a href="mailto:ukbestwebsite-designing@lycos.com">ukbestwebsite-designing@lycos.com</a> putting remove as the subject."<br><em>Too late: this is the third copy I have had and you have already really annoyed me</em><em>. The last thing I shall do is to confirm that you have a genuine email adress, silly persons.</em><br> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/04/25/how-not-to-market-your-services-4094295/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-04-22:/2008/04/22/pecking-the-liver-of-justice-4079624/loiswakeman2008-04-22T17:02:14+02:002008-04-22T17:02:14+02:00 <p>While I drank my afternoon cuppa just now, I watched a TV ad for InjuryLawyers4U - a piece I found rather nauseatingly self-righteous, urging us to go out and sue someone for something we probably brought on ourselves by being clumsy or not looking.</p> <p><img align="left" src="http://data5.blog.de/media/348/2484348_b56eafdcac_s.gif" alt="il4u" vspace="5" hspace="5">Personally, I abhor all this litigation culture stuff: people ought to take responsibility for their own actions rather than always blaming someone else for accidents. Of course, sometimes there is gross negligence and that ought to be punished in the criminal courts - but not the everyday stuff that can happen to us all.</p> <p>So, I am proposing a new strapline for their next campaign to go with the green eagle in the ad: instead of "InjuryLawyers4U - fixing the spiritual balance", </p> <p><strong>InjuryLawyers4U: Pecking the liver of Justice since 2002</strong></p> <p><a href="http://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/">http://www.injurylawyers4u.co.uk/</a></p> <p>Can you get the link to the new ad to work? All I got was a blank screen, and the browser window was resized to fit. How dare they?</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/04/22/pecking-the-liver-of-justice-4079624/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-04-10:/2008/04/10/psb-wots-that-then-4024818/loiswakeman2008-04-10T11:41:53+02:002008-04-10T11:43:57+02:00 <p>OFCOM has just released a <a href="http://www.ofcom.org.uk/media/news/2008/04/nr_20080410">report</a> considering the future of public service broadcasting in the UK, and the possibility of giving some of the licence fee to commercial TV to make more of it.</p> <p><strong>What</strong> PSB, I ask? Apart from the odd Attenborough documentary here and there, the Beeb and its "competitors" are stuffed with lifestyle documentaries (<em>100 best plastic surgery fiascos</em>), reality TV (<em>Celebrity slipping in pig muck</em>), wobblycam dumbed down "science" programs (<em>Violent volcanoes - aren't they exciting</em>) and news so vapid that a 6 year old could better analyse the stories (see below for an <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/03/29/flogging-a-dead-horse-3962868">example</a>).</p> <p>Why does my licence fee subsidise a weekly programme that is nothing more than a free plug for Andrew Lloyd Webber, for example? <strong>That's</strong> PSB? I think not. And <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/03/31/nkevin131.xml">Kevin Spacey agrees with me</a>.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/04/10/psb-wots-that-then-4024818/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-03-29:/2008/03/29/flogging-a-dead-horse-3962868/loiswakeman2008-03-29T16:30:17+01:002008-03-29T16:30:17+01:00 <p>The dead thing in question is not equine, but a frequently reported corpse.</p> <p>Yesterday on the <em>Today Programme</em>, the lovely Charlotte Green was reduced to helpless sniggering by an incontinent producer's larky remark in her earphone.</p> <p>Fair enough - we are all entitled to such human responses. What I find irritating is how this has made its way to the status of a real news item. It was re-broadcast later in the same programme by listener request (sad gits); then it made the ITN News at 10pm the same evening (a gloating affair complete with interviews with actors about corpsing and how to avoid it), and was mentioned this morning in the newspaper reviews again so it has spread to the print media too. And now I've compounded the error by reporting it here.</p> <p>People are being murdered in Iraq, starving in Zimbabwe and Somalia, ruthlessly oppressed in Tibet - and we are obsessing about a minor gaffe on the radio. Dear God.</p> <p>For a <strong>real </strong>treat, listen to the infamous <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/test_match_special/legends/default.stm">leg over incident</a> from Test Match Special - click the audio clip next to the late great Brian Johnston's photo. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/03/29/flogging-a-dead-horse-3962868/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-03-26:/2008/03/26/meeja-dot-bomb-3943159/loiswakeman2008-03-26T12:59:51+01:002008-04-07T09:05:00+02:00 <p>Idly Googling for inspiration, I came across a web site for a company called Meeja. This single-page opus informs us that </p> <p>"<em>Meeja is a publishing company whose team has a strong and intimate understanding of the creation and distribution of media in a digital World</em>."</p> <p>Its understanding obviously stops short of the need for a compelling and informative web site, it seems. Perhaps a case of the cobbler's children having no shoes? [<em>edited</em>]</p> <p>Find out - very little - more at <a href="http://meeja.com/"><a href="http://meeja.com/">http://meeja.com/</a></a> - or be mystified by <a href="http://meeja.net/"><a href="http://meeja.net/">http://meeja.net/</a></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/03/26/meeja-dot-bomb-3943159/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-03-26:/2008/03/26/laugh-i-could-have-cried-3943059/loiswakeman2008-03-26T12:44:57+01:002008-03-26T12:44:57+01:00 <p>"<em>I ordered a StyleBook from your website for one of my best friends. The album was for her to remember her hen do. We presented it to her at her wedding and she cried...</em>" - customer testimonial on PhotoBox web site.</p> <p>So would I if I was reminded of being horribly drunk on lurid cocktails and watching male strippers with lots of shrieking friends. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/03/26/laugh-i-could-have-cried-3943059/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-02-26:/2008/02/26/a_load_of_old_parabolics~3781914/loiswakeman2008-02-26T09:51:26+01:002008-02-26T09:51:26+01:00 <p>One of the pleasures of Sunday afternoons in my pottery is listening to <em>Open Book</em> - one of Radio 4's better literary efforts. Presented by the wonderfully husky Mariella Frostrup (please will she come and read me some bedtime stories?), it often features reviews of books or authors I'd never otherwise read.</p> <p>Last Sunday's got off to an interesting start with an interview with Richard Dawkins, who isn't as trenchant about literature as he is about what he sees as the misguidedness of religion (he wrote <em>The God Delusion</em>).</p> <p>However, I was spluttering into my tea when I heard this exchange:</p> <p>Mariella Frostrup: 'He [Portuguese novelist Jose Saramago, 1998 Nobel Prize winner] often writes in parables, doesn't he?'</p> <p>Amanda Hopkinson: 'Yes, and one of his most parabolic novels is Blindness... '</p> <p>Ms Hopkinson is a translator, so one might imagine that words are her profession. Maths obviously is not! </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/02/26/a_load_of_old_parabolics~3781914/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-02-07:/2008/02/07/lies_damn_lies_and_statistics~3693237/loiswakeman2008-02-07T15:06:47+01:002008-02-07T15:06:47+01:00 <p>Although I didn't ever formally study stats at university, I like to think I have a reasonable appreciation of their simpler points.</p> <p>So, I am always surprised at how ignorant most otherwise intelligent people seem to be about probabilities. BBC's <em>Working Lunch</em> featured a piece on the cost of insurance following the <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/humber/7227815.stm" title="read more about the floods">summer floods</a> in Yorkshire. Rob Pittam spoke to Sheffield's Floods Czar (now there's a title to impress the girls with!).</p> <p>As the Czar stood on the banks of the Don, pontificating about the high cost of business insurance after the floods, Rob replied that if he made a claim in his own insurance, he expected to pay higher premiums. Mr Czar said something along the lines of "Well, it's all based on the risk, isn't it? You could say that we're at less risk than other places because we had floods this year, so we probably won't get any more for another 100 years."</p> <p>No, stupid. The actual risk is just the same every year.</p> <p>I do wish interviewers would pick up on daft talk like this and correct it.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/02/07/lies_damn_lies_and_statistics~3693237/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>tag:meeeja.blog.co.uk,2008-01-24:/2008/01/24/no_news_is_good_news_or_would_you_employ~3625872/loiswakeman2008-01-24T14:54:07+01:002008-01-28T17:39:38+01:00 <p>BBC lunchtime news is appealing to the great unwashed for "their stories" in a rather weedy attempt to be relevant and cutting edge. Yeah, whatever.</p> <p>As a result, we get non-stories like today's, in which we learn that "Student Kris Athi has spent two months trying to delete his MySpace profile while he applies for jobs."</p> <p>As if that wasn't newsworthy enough, we are told that, actually, he could just have made his profile private to hide it (<abbr title="read the f***ing manual!">RTFM</abbr>, Kris), and [<em>allegedly: Ed</em>] the only reason he didn't get the "are you sure you want to delete your profile" confirmation email was because it was spam-trapped.</p> <p>Call me stupid (or even too clever by half) - but if said Kris is really an IT graduate - shouldn't he have known that this was a very likely explanation? I for one won't be rushing to recruit him. [Ed: see below for why, in the light of feedback on what really happened] <del>What a clueless wally.</del></p> <p><a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/7206852.stm">Read the 'news' story here</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://meeeja.blog.co.uk/2008/01/24/no_news_is_good_news_or_would_you_employ~3625872/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>